A Rant About Maternity Leave

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This is probably not going to be what you expect, and I acknowledge in advance that I may be eating my words...

For those who don't know, I'm Canadian. From Canada. Big cold state up north. In addition to being the land of socialized healthcare, with a good education system, and a bunch of other things, it is a country which over a decade ago introduced a year long paid maternity leave. You're not fully paid, but you're paid 55% of up to the national average salary for one year, and your employer must hold your job or give you an equivalent one upon your return. Pretty sweet deal right?

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I live in America now. How long was my maternity leave in America? 12 weeks. It was not fully paid, in fact the legally don't have to pay me at all. Many women are only get (or can only afford) to take 6 weeks. My life ain't bad. However, it is always met with objections about how ridiculous it is - how could I leave my 12 week old baby to go back to work!? It's inhumane!

I try to be diplomatic, I really do. "Well, it is what it is." And I guess that's why I'm now writing a passive aggressive blog post haha. 

But here is the thing: I want to work. And while I think 16 weeks would have been nice, I was ready to go back when I did at 12 weeks. I happen to really like what I do. I spent a lot of time doing what I do and on my career. This is what happens when you do something you love. 

I get that having 52 weeks at home to cuddle and be a stay at home mom is a great option - and I totally do not judge anyone for taking that option when it's available and it works for them. There are obvious upsides (see: cuddles). But, to me, there are obvious downsides too. From a personal point of view, a 1 year old is cognizant of you leaving. When you suddenly do it everyday that's not easy on them (or you). A three month old doesn't grasp it the same way and grows up with that being normal. 

Professionally, working in the industry I do, I cannot imagine taking a year off and being about to perform in my role. I had a hard time stepping out for 12 weeks - gearing up to leave and then adjusting to coming back and trying to catch up on everything I missed (even though I didn't totally disengage from work). And that's not just my opinion, many studies show women's career trajectory falling off post-child - I can't imagine basically starting from scratch when they return is of any help to that statistic.

I can't tell you the number of times I heard: "But how will you bond with your chiiiilllldddd?" Ummm, in all of the other hours when I'm not working. You saying that to me implies that it is not possible for me and my child to be bonded, which we are, and proves that you are an ignorant asshat. And I'm being snippy on that one because it is just straight up offensive. 

Don't get me wrong, I was excited to go back, but really sad to not hang out with my dude all day. I even more sad when we ended up putting him in daycare. I cried for literally a day about it. But I got over the latter, and now he's in it and he's super happy and he has even more people who love him and will make baby friends. Do I want to stay home with him instead of going to work some days. Yes... well, rather I wish I could bring him to work with me.

What don't I agree with? 

I don't agree that maternity leave by law does not need to be paid. I think it's terrible when women are forced back to work, sometimes days after giving birth, because they cannot afford the time off. Be pissed off about that. Object to that. Feel bad for those women. Don't feel terrible for me because I'm doing exactly what I've chosen to do and what is right for me and my family.

Or feel terrible for your one year old who understands that you're leaving them for the first time, has separation anxiety and no real concept of time, and cries all day for the first week(s). My dude will be the one rocking out wondering what's wrong with your dude.

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Ridiculous Gluten Free Labelling

Is it just me or has gluten free become a ridiculous marketing ploy? I bought this bottle of water in the airport the other day:

Vegan gluten free water with no MSG and no preservatives. Amazingness! Or not, it is water that you added strawberry, kiwi and carbonation to. In fairness, the water was really good and I really liked it. But labeling water as gluten free? I thought that was just a funny internet meme.

Have you spotted any consumable products boasting that they are gluten free when it seems obvious that they are? Or do you think the water needs the label?

Gluten Free Rant - Travel Preparation

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I am getting ready for a bit of travel, and like a good gluten bigot, I am researching GF options in each city I am visiting. The first place I look for places to eat is blogs, real guidance from other celiacs/gluten intolerant is priceless. And I easily found blogs with good tips. Then I did some good old google map searching which yielded even more as they scrape reviews from across the web (including TripAdvisor). This time though I came across a guidebook. Travel guidebooks are all a bit dear, but I was astonished at what was being charged for this particular one. Based on how many actual eateries were lists, it worked out to be more than a dollar per suggestion, which I think is crazy since I had starred at least as many on my map based on fast and few internet searches.

The reason this gets under my skin is there are so many people making money off the fact that I cannot eat gluten. A 'cheap' loaf of bread is $5, and I've paid up to $12. Dining out I'm often charged for gluten free substitutions. Or they remove most of the food from my plate and I am charged the same amount. We pay a premium to be gluten free, and it bothers me, and I certainly think that the gluten intolerants and celiacs of the world should not be inflicting that on each other - especially if you're charging for something that can easily be attained for free. Of course if you're printing a book, the cost of research and your time writing, there needs to be a markup, etc, and the authors may not have had a say in what the final price was. But I just found it to be one more way to try to monetize off of a medical condition in which the diagnosed have no choice but to have to navigate the world gluten free, which can be challenging.

Needless to say, I did not buy said book. I just stared more than the number of restaurants and grocers on Google Maps. This was at no cost other than about 15 minutes of my time review reading included. I will post everywhere I ate whist there after my trip. And I promise I will not charge for it :)

Gluten Free Rant | Don't Feel Sorry For Me

I have a rant I'm sure all gluten bigots can relate to - why do people feel bad for you for being on a gluten free diet? 

In fairness, becoming gluten free is not easy. Navigating the world isn't as easy once you're gluten free. You have to plan, you need to have backups, your product selection is smaller jammed with fat and sugar to correct bad flavor (just make your own food). But once you're there, you're there. 

Since making the adjustment to a 100% gluten free diet some years ago, and getting used to it, I haven't felt bad for myself at all. I feel bad for myself the first 25 years of my life being constantly sick and not feeling well, if I get glutened now I am reminded of how terrible I felt all the time. These days, I feel great (especially when I cut the processed crap out of my diet). I feel so good that no matter how good I know that croissant or bagel would be I really don't care that I can't have it. Because I have something much better - my health. 

There is no reason to feel bad for someone who has chosen to do something for their health, whether it was their choice or not. I mean, the sentiment is nice, but don't worry - we're good.

Now...